In the 1966/67 school year at the University of Michigan I watched a young woman disintegrate. She started in September as a healthy nursing student . . . cheerful, bright, laughing with us. Then suddenly she was a grey skeleton.
She didn’t finish the school year. Her decline was fast and horrifying to watch. I still remember the look on her face when she held up her arm, cocked her head and studied it. She didn’t recognize this skin-over-bone lifeless thing. She was terrified. That was when she got “sent away.”
Anorexia was a rare term then. I’d never heard the word, but that was not the problem, only a symptom. The problem was “date rape.”
I do not like this term, “date rape.” Rape is rape. It’s like the term “domestic violence.” Violence is violence. Assault is assault. Let’s not sugar-coat it. The closer to home this violence comes from, the more devastating it is.
But onward with the story. She had been invited to a “frat” party by a handsome guy, an upperclassman. She drank some alcohol, not a lot. They went to his room. He and several of his “brothers” raped her. End of story for the boys. End of life-as-planned for this promising and beautiful young woman.
Back in the 60s, the statistics for campus rapes were not tracked as well as they are today. Today the statistics are that 25% of girls in college are (date) raped, and many of these events go unreported, thus the real percentage is higher.
So this is your assignment: as you sit in commencement ceremonies over this next month, as you look at those bright and shining young women and men on stage of whom you are so proud . . . think of this . . . of the 100 women going to college, which 25 of them will be raped?
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow…very powerful. Thank you so much for writing this Cheryl. People deserve to know what is happening to their daughters, granddaughters, nieces, and friends. I hope people spread the word….xoxo Dari “America’s Safe Dating Coach” http://www.safedatingcoach.com
. . . I forgot to say that she never “reported it” because she was too ashamed. And the rest of us, her friends and acquaintances, didn’t know how to help her, or how to get help for her, or how to “report it.”
I didn’t even trust that there was someone in a position of power who would be willing to help us. Someone who would believe it or act on the information.
I’m so grateful there is more awareness and advocacy now.
Wow, that’s such a powerful story. As a young woman who just reached 20 several days ago, I see collage as a bright event on my horizon. I have a wonderful fiance and a wonderful, if stressful, life. Rape hits me close to home as it has happened to my sister and best friend. Of course, for some reason -and as I’m sure all young women do-, I think that I won’t be assaulted. I’m sure my 12 year old sister didn’t think she could be assaulted like that either. This post opened my eyes to the fact that even though my life is young and in it’s prime, that is no reason for me not to be safe. Thank you.